Middle Skool

They say that junior high is one of the most awkward times of a person's life, particularly for males. To the most manly lookin' go the spoils. And the spoils include attention, affirmation, a glimmer of fame and even preferential placement. So if you're undersized, a late bloomer, a plane Jane, or the like you better be good at something. And by something I don't mean French Horn. You better be an athlete, have wealthy parents who host your early-teen parties and personalize your invites or be talented in a YouTube-worthy sort of fashion. 

I was at my cousin's basketball game yesterday and ear hustled some conversations while observing the middle school animal in its natural habitat. Powder Foundation? At 12/13? For real? Hair, nails and flirtation? These girls are already in competition mode. Survival of the cutest is the rule. Well maybe not but it's certainly up for debate.

And then these boys, these males, these hybrids. They're like half child half 'grunter/snorter". I saw one complain because he thought he got fouled. He was competing fiercely, attempting to define himself with basketball prowess, sportin' neoprene sleeve and Dwyane Wade-esque Nike combat gear. But alas, when he had the ball stolen from him and tripped, he resorted to...tears. His dad hoisted him and held him like an infant in his arms. It was the kind of episode that would ruin a high school male whose machismo is permanently infused already. But these budding alphas are a mysterious, impressionable blend. They want an identity in the worst way.

The only reason I ended up on that campus yesterday was because my cousin hit me up like, "Hey, Norman I have a basketball game at South Pointe at 3:15 if you want to come." Translation: "Can you come, can you come, please, please bro, come man, I'm really really good. It would mean everything...!!!" I had to go once the interpretation came through. LOL

Maybe puberty is the most volatile transition because it's so tangible, so immediate, so public and so conflicting. Maybe we hated Junior High because we didn't have a tour guide through human development, a mentor/confidant to help manage the journey.

THE YEAR OF THE DREAM DEFERRED?

As 2012 ended I realized I was having a mid-life crisis at only 37 years old. Maybe it wasn't so much mid-life that defined the crisis as it was just life in general. I looked in the mirror a lot last year, mostly to count the greys in my hair which is thinning a very strange way. I saw greys in the go-tee as well. Some nights I couldn't sleep in 2012 and I developed this crook in my neck that I thought was from sleeping weird but who knows. I normally do a little traveling throughout the year for basketball camps and/or speaking engagements. In 2012 I did no traveling. But I did a lot of other things.

I completed a full school year of teaching 7th and 8th graders at Amelia Earhart Middle School in Riverside California. I was laid-off at the end of the year due to budgetary constraints. While teaching, I coached varsity basketball for Western Christian High School in Upland, California. In the Spring of 2012, my wife noticed a coaching position opening at Columbia International University in South Carolina and told me it was a fit. CIU didn't even have a team yet and they still don't. They were searching for a coach to come in and build a quality, Christ-centered, mission-minded, character-driven basketball program. So I stepped to the stage quickly, figuring I'd at least get an interview for a job at a University that doesn't even have a basketball team yet. I assumed the criteria they had thrown out would deter coaches who just want to raise money and field a team of athletes. My thinking was that for what I lack in college coaching experience I make up for with conviction and a commitment to developing men regardless of outside pressure. I'm the guy with nothing to lose, or at least that's how I live out most pursuits. I called the basketball office 3-4 times to follow up and see if the search committee was screening applicants. I told my wife I might need to hop on a plane and go interview. We started getting our heads around moving from sunny So Cali (where we riot not rally) to THE SOUTH. After the application was submitted and the clock began ticking, I realized I really wanted this job.

I wasn't going to be inheriting someone else's damaged goods and nightmare recruits who go to Christian schools to womanize and dissipate. 'Cause that's what happens all over the nation. Athletes who can't qualify for Division I or II schools due to academics or eligibility infractions often end up going the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) route. So there are some Christian schools with real basketball pedigree. Unfortunately, athletics is God to many of the guys on the hoop squad and spiritual formation never takes precedence. So I was thinking, "what could be better than starting from the ground up and producing a character driven, Christ centered team of competitive sons of ....guns." I'm all about destroying the opponent within the scope of the sport. But man...to be able to do that in a way that develops men into true followers of God with his truth as the GPS. No joke, I thought this was a God sent opportunity and felt it'd be easy to take being cut from the Riverside Unified School District teaching team. You know how it is. If the girl or guy you're dating says, "It's not you; it's me," you can deal with it easier if there's someone hotter on deck.

Between March 26 and May 21, I maintained conversations with the CIU Human Resources assistant and even the athletic director. I didn't get the job, an interview or any official indication that I wasn't being considered. And it was funny because all the while, I was in other communications with a church about coming onto their staff full-time when my teaching contract ended. The lead pastor of the church had prayed with me one-on-one that I would get the Columbia coaching position even though he wanted me on his team. He even put in a call to a fellow alum from his seminary who he thought was working at CIU. On June 10 I started working at a church. And since I was technically still head coach of the Western Christian Fighting Lancers Boys Basketball program, I figured I'd still have my coaching outlet. But by  August of 2012 I was neither a college nor high school coach. What happened to the "someone hotter" waiting in the wings? I didn't get the college coaching job and now I'm not even a coach at all. Oh and all the private training I was doing dried up too. Basketball players working out with me decided that didn't want to anymore. Really? Did my Chevrons get stripped from my uniform in 2012? Felt like it but as I write this I'm realizing that I downplayed that too.

If 2012 was a basketball game, the 1st and 2nd halves looked nothing alike. But I am adjusting and I do like the place to which I've arrived in many respects. Teaching the Bible, counseling young and not-so-young and structuring programming for spiritual growth is what I'm doing now. The exhilaration is not the same. But the purpose seems to be. More to come in 2013. I am doing a basketball camp in the Philippines under the name 6IXTH MAN in April though.